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Things I Can't Help But Notice

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 13:46:00 GMT

Things I Can't Help But Notice

I've been thinking about waiting lately. Not in a grand, philosophical way — though it tends to get there eventually — but in the small, daily way. Last week I walked past a car that had mounted a grass verge and flattened a parking sign. The sign said permit holders only. I took a photo and posted it with the caption "You can't park there." Someone pointed out, quite rightly, that they did, not realising the cultural phenomenon of the phrase.

Around the same time, I spotted an Amazon van apparently stranded at sea online — a delivery driver's ambition outpacing the tide? I posted it with the caption "Still waiting for my delivery." It got a few likes from people who, I suspect, have also spent a Thursday afternoon refreshing a tracking page or waiting in forlornly. Or worse, finding the packages soaking wet by the bins.

These are the kinds of things an artist (or neurodivergent) can't help noticing. The world is constantly staging little dramas — small acts of defiance against signs, systems, and schedules — and once you start seeing them, it's hard to stop. I'm not sure whether making art teaches you to notice, or whether noticing is what makes you want to make art in the first place. Probably both.

The fisherman drawing I showed at the Bath Spa University show last October was called Waiting. It shows a few small figures, lines extended into empty space. Fishermen are, in many ways, professional waiters. The cast line is an act of faith — you've done what you can, and now you just have to be still. I find that compelling. The patience of it. The ability to stay still with seemingly little dopamine influx.

At a different show, I exhibited an interactive piece — stones gathered from a Cornish coast, wired up and connected to a small electronic instrument, created with Emma Davies. Touch two at once and the stylophone plays a sound. The piece is about connection and conductivity: the idea that ordinary, overlooked things contain something that can only be activated in relationship with something else. A stone isn't much on its own. Neither is a hand. But put them together, and something magical happens.

I think the humorous posts are about the same impulse, really. Noticing is a form of connection — between the person watching and the thing being watched, between the everyday world and the meaning it might be carrying without knowing it. The car on the grass. The van in the sea. They're not art. But they come from the same place the art comes from.

What have you noticed lately?

Porthleven Prize

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 16:52:42 GMT

A wonderful experience

The Porthleven Prize was a great experience. I've added a number of p[ages to the site to site that describe what happened over the two art shows. But not much about the residencies themselves.

In the first residency, a week was spent in Porthleven trying multiple types of art form and learning about the town. I shared a cottage with two others and had a great week although it was bitterly cold in the lighthouse in January. I manged to do some field recording in and around the harbour as well as plenty of drawing. After pitching what I wanted to do for the second residency, I got accepted. Then it was back to Porthleven in March.

I lived in the neighbouring cottage on the harbour for the residency. We had a more extensive set of art experiences including poetry, singing and lantern making. There wasn't much time to do any more field recording but I did take lots of pictures that became the music video, Stars . We also made the horror short, Cold Scalp . I also got to start prepping for what became, Hearing the Invisible, a sound walk around the harbour. I used an EMF receiver to record the sound of this harvour light:

At the end of the two weeks we headed back via The Eden Project and had great fun with the smoke-blowing mushroom exhibit. We had then a few months to prepare our work for the week's long show in Porthleven.

Book Marketing

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 14:19:41 GMT

Advertising books

I chose to examine how my books advertising campaigns are running. I advertise 3 of my 6 books through Amazon. My motivation is to minimise administration and spend for the most impact in terms of sales and any potential unexpected impacts.

Last year I spent a month studying how to advertise books and then began implementing that knowledge. I spent far below the recommended amount of time managing the process. But despite that, I am selling about 50-100 books a month with a negative ROI, maybe £100/month. Not great from a purely financial perspective but given that is not my only target, I could live with it.

But it was time to look again. The Amazon dashboard is complicated but can provide some good summarising information (seel below). However, once you understand the key metrics it becomes easier. In essence, I focused on 3 elements:

Impressions.
Clicks
Sales
ASOS

For anything with more than 2000 impressions, is it getting clicks and sales. If yes, what's the ACOS. ACOS is advertising cost of sales and anything below 100% is a positive ROI. Anything that has no clicks or a bad ACOS, I archive. Anything doing well, I increase the daily budget. I should be running this process much more often as well as creating new campaingns.

Ingram Spark - my printer for a better description - will now allow direct sales. Conventionally, an order from Amazon or Apple triggers a print run from Ingram Spark. But now you can have links on your website and offer books at a discount from the traditional retailers while still making a good margin.

The process of creating those links was pretty easy - you create a US and UK one - and then its a question of getting them up on your website. They also provide QR codes and a neat little advertising box with your book and a link. As you can see below I created a table to help me organise my books along with the links.

Anyway, that's all for now. I am working on a new book - a collection of poems along with illustrations (by me).

Two Books Four Ways

PH114623 — Sun, 10 Nov 2024 13:13:54 GMT

Two books for the price of well, two

I've published two books this week in two formats: paperback and ebook. For the first time, I've used a hybrid ebook strategy i.e. it's published with Amazon including KDP and separately through Ingram Spark. Both books are selling for about 8 or 10 pounds.

The Proving

The first book, The Proving , I've had finished for quite a while. Written after was inspired by a story mentioned in a small handout as part of the B-Sides festival in Portland, Dorset. It inspired me to write a dark story with brother-sister sleuths. The brother, Warren, is a reporter for a small magazine that investigates strange goings on. A bit like the Fortean Times. He's like most detectives, probably neurodivergent, and she isn't. There is in fact two cases in the book, one that Warren solves with his partner, Harris, and the main one that he ropes his sister, a copper off sick with PTSD, to help with. The latter is set in Portland. Yesterday, I sent a hard copy to their library

ADHD: A Modern Lexicon

The second book, ADHD: A Modern Lexicon,

Writing Update

PH114623 — Fri, 30 Aug 2024 15:59:45 GMT

The Proving and ADHD: A Modern Completion

We're nearly there. Plenty of hard work has been going on behind the scenes to finish my next two books.

ADHD: A Modern Lexicon is currently at the proof stage. Jo has been working away to ensure all the footnotes are correct before the final proof read. James will do some finishing touches before it goes to 'print.' The book will contain images drawn by myself. Here's a taster:

The Proving is in the final design stages. Formatted using Vellum by myself. It's a dark detective tale and perhaps the first sceptic detective novel. The book is set in Bristol and Portland, in Dorset. This photograph of a lighthouse was shot by Ian Watts.

Want Do Get

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:27:00 GMT

Interview with IndieReader

As my book, Want Do Get, received a 4+ review they asked me to do an interview: https://indiereader.com/2024/07/advice-from-ir-approved-author-merlin-goldman-dont-try-to-do-it-all-yourself-if-you-want-great-results/

My experience of Long Covid

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:22:10 GMT

How I overcame Long Covid

This article was first published in 2023.

In less than two months, I removed all my long covid symptoms through taking high daily amounts of Vitamin D. While taking this supplement is not an entirely new suggestion, taking over 5-7 x times what has been suggested certainly is. Two months since the experiment is over, most of my long covid symptoms remain in remission. Over the course of a month, I increased my daily Vitamin D levels from 4,000 IU per day to 36,000 IU per day, which I maintained for a month. I’m currently taking 24,000 IU per day.

Two years ago, things were much worse: brain fog, fatigue, diarrhoea, muscle aches, tinnitus - I had what was called the ‘neurological’ covid. There was no persistent cough or sore throat. I felt well enough to go to work. Each symptom appeared on its own and disappeared within twenty-four hours. It was strange. I’d had winter vomiting sickness and flu that left me glued me to the sofa for two days, but while those felt full body, this felt like a moving feast. I felt fine for a while.

Most of my symptoms seemed to dissipate, except for the tinnitus. Some days, only sitting in a dark, quiet room quelled its overpowering effect. At its worst, unless someone was within a metre from me, I couldn’t hear a word. An outdoor picnic was a crash course in learning to lipread. I measured my hearing profile using a set of Nuraphone headphones - they perform a hearing test to optimise their sound delivery - it was markedly different from my normal profile:

Hearing Profile without Long Covid

Hearing Profile with Long Covid

Doing the test lessened the severity of the tinnitus. Some days, I’d repeat the test every hour. My other symptoms stayed constant: fatigue, tinnitus, chest inflammation and gastrointestinal upsets.

In October 2020, I went to hospital to give a plasma and platelets donation. This process involves pumping out your blood, centrifuging it to gather the plasma and platelets, then returning the remaining blood back to you. A longer and more complicated process than simple blood donation, it provides valuable support to patients going through cancer treatments. Pre-covid, the procedure had run smoothly for me. But on this occasion and the next, I could not complete the process. Although there are several probable reasons and coincidences cannot be ruled out, maybe the damage by covid had made my veins too weak to support the pumping. Around that time, I also volunteered to have my blood tested for antibodies for the therapeutic antibody programme. My levels of antibodies were too low to be used. My symptoms slowly improved and the terms short and long covid appeared in the public lexicon. I compared these to other post viral episodes of extreme fatigue. Indeed, a colleague who’d caught Dengue fever referred to the overwhelming waves of tiredness that would hit him post infection.

I got my first vaccination in March 2021. There was no obvious improvement in my symptoms. But after my second jab a few months later in May, within about two weeks, all my symptoms had gone. Hallelujah! This had been reported off and on in different places. My primary sources of information came through a long covid Facebook group, Twitter and the Zoe group run by Imperial College London. Feeling overconfident, a few weeks after being back to ‘normal’, I played tennis. It was only for an hour, but perhaps combined with getting cold afterwards and having a drink, my symptoms returned with a flourish. Although disheartening, I had hoped that with time or with another jab, the symptoms would once again disappear. But following the third jab in November 2021, the Pfizer rather than Moderna vaccines, I felt no improvement.

I caught Covid again in December and had only mild symptoms. However, my long covid symptoms continued, usually worsened when I did too much, whether this be brain-sapping work or exercise. In March 2022, I caught Covid again. Likely the Delta variant. It was mild but did scupper a planned trip away. I also developed one new long covid symptom, a lower backache, each morning when I woke up. When the back ache first appeared, it was so severe; I struggled to get out of bed. At first, I didn’t connect it to the covid infection. I knew I slept on my front, so I thought perhaps the mattress was finished. But I checked, it was just a few years old. I changed pillows, nothing. But self-reporting through the Zoe app revealed that others also had the same new symptom. Why the lower back? And why did a vaccination cause the symptoms to dissipate? Is there a connection between other conditions with similar symptoms, like chronic fatigue syndrome?

When we’re infected, an immune reaction is triggered. The body’s job is to try every tool in its box to save us. Most of the time, it works, and we survive. Sometimes, the body recognises something foreign as dangerous when it really isn’t. Take hay fever, which I get. The body sees pollen as something harmful and produces a response that leaves us with itchy eyes and an itchy throat. We can remove these inflammatory symptoms by knocking out the molecule that’s triggering the reaction - histamine. Some long people living with covid found antihistamine helped with their symptoms. Many of the symptoms of long covid appear to be inflammatory - an increased blood flow to regions of the body producing tightness or heat.

Simplified View of our body’s defence systems

We now understand that Covid caused physical destruction of cells - anything with an ACE 2 receptor. This is a physical assault. If many of the long covid symptoms are inflammatory and localised, it makes sense that these would occur in response to what the body now has learnt is a new type of physical insult. I got headaches and brain fog if I did too much brain work. It was impossible to sleep if I walked too much. Anti-inflammatories like ibuprofen appeared to work, but that’s not a long-term solution, because of potential side effects. Our body things physical or mental effort is an injury and mounts an extreme inflammatory response, when only a minor one is needed. How could we reset the body’s recognition error? Can we reset it or re-educate it?

There are methods being trialled to create similar effects. Faecal microbiota transplant is an effective method to treat persistent Clostridioides difficile infection. Faecal bacteria and other microbes from a healthy individual are transferred to the affected individual. For covid, the closest method we have is the use of therapeutic antibodies from previously infected individuals. But what about something we already have seen may work - vaccines. If long covid is a pattern recognition error - it's misinterpreted the impact of ‘excess effort’ - physical or mental - as an ‘infection’.

So, we could imagine the virus and its effects producing a response like a code. Let’s say it's A B C D E F G H I. Our body rapidly creates a matching response. If we’re fit and healthy, we create an identical match: A B C D E F G H I and the virus is wiped out and we return to a steady state. But perhaps for various reasons, age, or ill health, we don’t quite get a match: A D F G H, we’re unwell but do well enough to recover. We stick in our memory banks that something looking like A D F G H is an attack and if respond in kind; we get rid of it. But what if we take the dog for a walk and it runs off? We chase it and get it back, but it was a bit of an effort. It produces an inflammatory reaction A C E G H. This doesn’t look much like covid, but it looks like what we stored as our successful response, A D F G H. So, we mount our defence to something that doesn’t need it. We go overboard, creating inflammation and the resultant negative effects, e.g., fatigue, when unnecessary. What if we could re-educate our immune system? Well, a vaccine does that. We tell our body that the virus looks like A B C D E F G H I, so realigning its targeting system. When we now take the dog for a walk (A C E G H), we let it go.

If vaccines might be a simple and cheap - we’ve already sunk costs of making them and the delivery is straightforward - shouldn’t we try them as therapeutics? This would require a change of thinking. Vaccines are preventative, they’re not meant to be used for therapeutic, i.e., post infection purposes. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider it. And if vaccines could provide a method to reset our immune system’s aim, could they do the same for other conditions? Infection from the Epstein-Barr virus may cause multiple sclerosis, according to a study led by Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health researchers. Could the presentation of an attenuated version of the virus re-educate these individuals’ immune systems?

Could the re-education of our immune systems also work for something like chronic fatigue syndrome/ME? If a virus caused this condition, could we not trace this back through an interrogation of the viruses that were present prior to their conditions emerging? But wouldn’t this mean the generation of lots of new vaccines? Possibly. But we have new, faster methods of creation, e.g., mRNA. And don’t forget, we also now have a stockpile - winter flu jabs. What if a winter flu vaccine, created prior to someone’s CFD emerging, might provide the reset button for their immune system needs?

One of the most recent discussions on the symptoms of long covid has been sticky blood. There have been several instances where patients with long covid have had their blood analysed using fluorescent microscopy. This technique has revealed that these individuals have micro clumps of blood. It's likely that these clumps might limit the flow of blood and supply of oxygen around the body, perhaps contributing to the feelings of fatigue. Some have received treatment that appears to have helped. I’m guessing its low-molecular-weight heparin of the type used in fertility treatment. What about a mechanical treatment? Perhaps the centrifugal technique used in platelet collection, or a version of dialysis used to treat people with kidney malfunctions.

But back to the present, what triggered to me to take such high amounts of Vitamin D? In the summer, I’d volunteered to be a steward at a festival. It turned out to be one of the hottest weekends on record in the UK. We had eight-hour shifts in which we had to patrol the camp sites. Now, for someone with long covid, this was foolhardy on my part. But to my immense shock, despite walking up to 10 miles a day in temperatures of 30 degrees Celsius in the scorching sun, I had no long covid symptoms. It was baffling. What was it? The heat, the exercise, the fresh air? Maybe it was the sunshine? If it was, then it could be vitamin D - generated through exposure to UV. And the following week, this an article was published by the University of South Australia ( t.ly/A8f- ) suggesting that low vitamin D could cause chronic inflammation. And after all, wasn’t that what long covid was?

I started increasing my dose, guessing that 36,000 a day would be non-toxic. The tablets I took came in 4,000 IU dosed tablet. I took 3 in the morning, 3 at lunchtime and 3 in the evening. The amount was mostly based on knowing that 1-2 hours of sunshine generated 20 to 40,000 IU. And it’s not like we hear of roofers being taken to A&E with vitamin D poisoning. A pharmacist reassured me, in the middle of the month, that it was the same level given to those with a severe deficiency. Last week I got the test results back for that period of high dosage. I was 1 nmol/L below the level of what is at risk of toxicity (above 220 nmol/L). I’m now back to 24,000 IU per day and will test again.

Might there be a correlation between long covid and sunlight hours? Let’s have a look:

United Kingdom | 4.7% 1,365 hours
Australia | 3.9% 4,403 hours
Canada | 3.7% 2,104 hours
United States | 3.7% 2,590 hours
New Zealand | 3.2% 3,864 hours
South Africa | 2.9% 3,609 hours
Germany | 2.6% 1,569 hours
France | 2.6% 1,900 hours
Brazil | 2.4% 2,488 hours
Argentina | 2.2% 2,532 hours
Spain | 2.1% 2,800 hours

It’s certainly not conclusive. But it's certainly something that could be explored further, with someone with greater access to the data and statistical skills. Or we could look at science fiction for inspiration. The recent Star Trek episode, "Ghosts of Illyria", featured a viral outbreak that could make its victims desperate for light. Whatever the answer will be, if there is one, hopefully this experience might help others to find a solution to treating their long covid.

DISCLAIMER : before changing your diet or taking new supplements of any kind, especially high doses, consult your doctor or physician first.

Long Covid

PH114623 — Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:13:48 GMT

Long Covid 2

In may I caught Covid-19 again. I didn't do the test but it had the (> neurological) symptoms I tend to have had before. I had knife-like headaches and tiredness mostly. A few weeks later, after the symptoms had gone, I had some new ones: back pain, tinnitus and lack of energy. I thought I'd caught covid again but after a few weeks realised it was of course Long Covid.

So what to do? Do I accept another 24 months of slow improvement. Or do I go for my Vitamin D therapy. Of course, it was the latter. I was already taking about 10-15k/day. I increased this by about 10k/day. And then a week later bumped it up to 40K/day. By chance, a local pharmacy had just started selling Vitamin D in 20k tablets. This is about 5 times the normal dose. They recommend 1 capsule per day.

So if 20k/day is now considered safe, 40k/day is only double. So that's what I did for a month. And like last time (phew!), it started to work. First my energy levels returned, followed by the back pain diminishing to nothing. The tinnitus however was more persisitent. For me, it was at its worst, deafness in both ears, white noise and a ringing. Today, I'ave got my hearing in my right ear, with the right at about 80% but with some ringing.

When I talk to people about tinnitus its surprising how many people have it. It's about 10% of the UK population. And there's almost no treatment. If you look on Tinnitus UK's website, there's a database of treatments and almost all they conclude don't work. The best they suggest is CBT or counselling. Things that have worked for me (other than Vit D):

Rest (sleep, lie or sit somewhere quiet)
Hold your palms against your ears and press. Wiggle your fingers to make a drum-like sound on the back of your neck.
Focus your attention on it.

I'd read of few stories of people with LC or covid who had tinnitus (or deafness) but this tweet suggests actually I'm definitely not alone.

So today, I'm waiting on my Vit D blood test results to check how much my level is after several weeks of 40k/day. I'll then decide to continue or go up to try to shift this last remaining bit of tinnitus. If it remains, I might have to get a hearing aid. I'm also going to repost my original article about how I stumbled on a cure/therapy for long covid.

Book Launch

PH114623 — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 10:09:40 GMT

Book launch

The launch was great fun. We had over 20 people and people bought books. It was a good social gathering and celebration of a long, difficult process of writing, designing, and publishing. People drank, chatted, and we talked about the book - mostly the design. This wasn't a time for technical discussions. That can wait to the workshop next month.

Test Copy: Want Do Get

PH114623 — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 10:48:34 GMT

Test Copies of Want Do Get have arrived!

The test copies of Want Do Get arrived yesterday. I need to go through them and then send them to my designer, James Pople, and proof reader, Joanne Peios.

Make the most of the season by following these simple guidelines

websitebuilder-hub@names.co.uk — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 10:33:18 GMT

The new season is a great reason to make and keep resolutions. Whether it’s eating well or cleaning out the garage, here are some tips for making and keeping resolutions.

Make a list

Lists are great ways to stay on track. Write down some big things you want to accomplish and some smaller things, too.

Check the list regularly

Don’t forget to check in and see how you’re doing. Just because you don’t achieve the big goals right away doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.

Reward yourself

When you succeed in achieving a goal, be it a big one or a small one, make sure to pat yourself on the back.

Think positively

Positive thinking is a major factor in success. So instead of mulling over things that didn’t go quite right, remind yourself of things that did.

Keep in touch with site visitors and boost loyalty

websitebuilder-hub@names.co.uk — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 10:33:18 GMT

There are so many good reasons to communicate with site visitors. Tell them about sales and new products or update them with tips and information.

Here are some reasons to make blogging part of your regular routine.

Blogging is an easy way to engage with site visitors

Writing a blog post is easy once you get the hang of it. Posts don’t need to be long or complicated. Just write about what you know and do your best to write well.

Show customers your personality

When you write a blog post, you can really let your personality shine through. This can be a great tool for showing your distinct personality.

Blogging is a terrific form of communication

Blogs are a great communication tool. They tend to be longer than social media posts, which gives you plenty of space for sharing insights, handy tips and more.

It’s a great way to support and boost SEO

Search engines like sites that regularly post fresh content and a blog is a great way of doing this. With relevant metadata for every post so search engines can find your content.

Drive traffic to your site

Every time you add a new post, people who have subscribed to it will have a reason to come back to your site. If the post is a good read, they’ll share it with others, bringing even more traffic!

Blogging is free

Maintaining a blog on your site is absolutely free. You can hire bloggers if you like or assign regularly blogging tasks to everyone in your company.

A natural way to build your brand

A blog is a wonderful way to build your brand’s distinct voice. Write about issues that are related to your industry and your customers.

Tips for writing great posts that increase your site traffic

websitebuilder-hub@names.co.uk — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 10:33:17 GMT

Write about something you know. If you don’t know much about a specific topic that will interest your readers, invite an expert to write about it.

Speak to your audience

You know your audience better than anyone else, so keep them in mind as you write your blog posts. Write about things they care about. If you have a company Facebook page, look here to find topics to write about

Take a few moments to plan your post

Once you have a great idea for a post, write the first draft. Some people like to start with the title and then work on the paragraphs. Other people like to start with subtitles and go from there. Choose the method that works for you.

Don’t forget to add images

Be sure to include a few high-quality images in your blog. Images break up the text and make it more readable. They can also convey emotions or ideas that are hard to put into words.

Edit carefully before posting

Once you’re happy with the text, put it aside for a day or two, and then re-read it. You’ll probably find a few things you want to add and a couple more that you want to remove. Have a friend or colleague look it over to make sure there are no mistakes. When your post is error-free, set it up in your blog and publish.